What a fine Sunday

I spent this past weekend in Chicago on a business trip with several of my colleagues and while I enjoyed myself at times, I could not wait to get home to Boston. We had to check out of the hotel Sunday morning but didn't fly out until 6:35PM so there was a lot of time to kill, and kill it I did:

12PM: I finish packing and check out of my hotel room. I managed to get out with 3 bottles of lotion, 1 bottle of conditioner, and 2 bars of soap but was unable to squeeze in the 4 rolls of toilet paper I'd manage to procure from a lovely maid named Karen, who I named Maria Bo Jangles as I feel "Karen" is far too pedestrian.

12:15PM: I make my way down to the lobby and meet up with my coworkers. Some of us were in Chicago for the last 2 weekends in a row and were ready to kill ourselves, when out of my periphery I saw a shining beacon of hope atop the elegant staircase at the Palmer House Hotel. I knew it had to be a dream but a paper sign read it as clear as day "MeTV Brunch, 11-1 Featuring Betty White". BETTY WHITE?! I just about lost control of my bowels and became more disappointed than ever that I hadn't been able to fit the toilet paper in my bag, but even skid marks couldn't take me down from my Betty White high. I was over the moon, and knew I had to make meeting Betty White a priority. I went to my coworkers Ted and Molly and expressed how important it was that we meet her. "We have to make our move NOW" I commanded with all the fervor of a mongoose eating a hen "I'm sure we'll be able to expense it, surely the company knows how important Betty White is!" They agreed without a moment's hesitation and we we hastily made our way to the entrance. As we walked up the stairs I panicked. There were so many older Midwestern ladies, all of them decked out in their finest pant suits and shoulder pads. I was obviously no match for them and realized I'd receive almost no face time with Betty with competition like that. They'd sit down next to her and reminisce of their memories of St. Olaf whilst feasting on cheesecake. I was sorely disappointed but at the end of the day it's just Betty White. That being said, had Beatrice Arthur been sitting in that room I'd have stormed the door with a tank just to see a glimpse of her angelic face.

6:35: After sitting in the airport for about 4 hours and getting yelled at by a bitter airline worker, I board and am seated in the row right next to the exit with about a yard and a half of leg room in front of me. I was thrilled and all I could think of doing was laying down and sleeping until the plane landed, but the plane hadn't even finished boarding when the passenger sitting next to me decided to start a conversation. "Long day huh?" the asked. She was a cute, petite Indian girl (dot not feather) who obviously wanted me to ask why it had been a long day, and being the upstanding young citizen that I am I decided to tolerate it. "Why's that?" I asked. "Well my connecting flight to New York was canceled so I've been in the airport since noon". "Where are you coming from" I followed up. "Wisconsin, I was there for the National College Curling Championships." I grabbed armrests to keep from jumping out of my seat with excitement and had to bite my lower lip to keep from laughing. Obviously God was making up for the fact that I hadn't met Betty White earlier in the day. "Curling? I said with a grin similar to that of the Grinch forming on my face. "How did that go?" I was literally sitting on the edge of my seat thinking of what I could ask her. "It was great, oh my God it was like so much fun. I mean 40 curlers in one hotel? So crazy! We stayed up until like 5!" I couldn't control myself and definitely laughed a little but did everything I could to keep it going as it was the highlight of my weekend "I can imagine!" I said "Sounds crazy!" "You have no idea, but we totally got robbed. One of our teams got 3rd, one got second, but my team....well we got put with a group that was just way out of our league. So unfair, they were like pros!" "Jeez Louise" I said, "sounds like you got robbed!" I managed to ask her a few more questions before the stewardess safety rundown ended the conversation, but those five minutes were enough to last me five days so I have no regrets. What a Sunday.